Rambling's of a Silly Lady

If you read those blog entries you can see how much it means to me to have a child. I go online and look at baby stuff all the time. I look at all the cribs and the ways I could decorate a nursery. Shoot I go as far as looking at set for toddlers and young children.

It's crazy but I want to have twins or more.

Yes it is insane. Don't ask me why. It's just been my dream. I love babies, I love kids. I love teaching them, I love playing with them. I like seeing as they discover new things.

Why do I want kids so bad? I don't know. I always have. Most dream of travel, of work, I dreamed of a family. Of a simple life.

I know now isn't the time. I know that. I just want to know that it is a possibility. Who knows what will happen so many things can change.

I think I would be a good mother, I know Rob would be an amazing father. I THINK our parents would be good grandparents.

Lord I really am rambling. I will end this now.

Things Seem So Hard

Why does it seem like everyone can have kids but me? Why do I feel like it will never happen?

I have always wanted twins. Triplets would be a bonus.

I have always wanted a family but I don't think it will happen. It has trully been my one dream. I have dreamed of having a baby my whole life but I don't think it is in the cards for me for so many reasons.

It is funny I hear so many say they do not want kids. Yet they have them. Or that they don't like kids but they have three or four.

Why does it feel like it will never be my turn. I want a baby so bad. I feel it inside of me, so strongly. It overwhelms me at times. I don't know how to explain to people that the thought of me not having kids is trully one of the most painful things I have ever felt.

I think I will post tomorrow some of the reasons why I don't think it will happen.